How to Forgive-2

These two are wise people. Which two? The one who sees his transgression as a transgression, and the one who rightfully pardons another who has confessed his transgression. These two are wise people.

The key phrase is rightful pardon to the one who has confessed his misdeed. There’s no forgiveness without confession. And a conditional or an incomplete confession is not a confession but a vain explanation, a justification, a pretense. For example, if someone apologizes for their mistake but starts to describe why they did a certain action or why it wasn’t entirely a mistake, it means somewhere they still don’t mean to apologize, somewhere they still believe there was some validity behind their transgression. No real forgiveness is possible in such a scenario. As they say, a stiff apology is one more insult. It’s much better and more effective to fully admit and take ownership of our mistake and vow to not repeat it.

Forgiving and letting go are not the same, for, forgiveness is only possible when the other person participates in the process. Imagine two road accidents. In the first case, the offender comes out, says sorry and exchanges the details so you may claim the insurance. In the second case, it’s a hit-and-run. They don’t stop and speed away. When there’s no participation from the other side, you can’t truly forgive or reconcile. You may, at the most, unwillingly accept that you got cheated. Sometimes, you find yourself unable to forgive and then feel bad that your heart’s not big enough. The truth may well be that with your heart of gold you are eagerly waiting and patiently standing with the gift of forgiveness wrapped in compassion, love and care, but the recipient fails to show up.

If you are on the other side of the fence, if you hurt someone or when deep within you believe you treated the other person unjustly, offer them an unconditional and a sincere apology. You’ll feel light and they’ll feel healed. To seek forgiveness is even more profound than wanting to forgive.

What if the other person is no longer in your life? Is there no way to forgive then? Yes there is; one for another time. And, at that time, I would also elaborate for you the difference between forgiving as an act versus forgiveness as an emotion.

Om Namah Shivay

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How to Forgive-1

Forgiveness is a gift. It’s as much about the recipient as the giver.This is a question I get asked more frequently than any other: how to forgive? Often readers tell me that they have forgiven the other person but they are still hurt. That, thoughts or sight of the other person still triggers emotional pain. That, even though they have forgiven, they are still unable to feel love for the other person. That, the good old times have not returned. I know what you mean.

There’s a common misconception about forgiveness — we often believe that once we forgive someone we’ll immediately start feeling love for them again. It doesn’t work this way. Before we reach the point where we contemplate forgiving the other person, we have already been hurt. Until we recover from the hurt, the harmony and peace can’t be restored. The period of recovery can range from a minute to a lifetime. It depends on the quality of the relationship, our personal strength and the nature of the transgression.

Further, forgiveness must not be confused with reconciliation. They are not the same. When you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean you’ve accepted their manner, demeanor, or actions. It simply means that you have decided, out of compassion or care, for the good of the other person or your own, to not let their past actions ruin your peace. The peace you experience upon forgiving someone quickly vanishes if they repeat the mistake or don’t value your kindness. Think of forgiveness as a gift you give to the transgressor. When the other person doesn’t acknowledge it, or devalues it by repeating their actions, they have basically not accepted your gift. Your gift is returned and it’s lying with you again now. You are back to square one — hurt, resentful and perturbed.

True forgiveness is not possible without reconciliation. And, reconciliation is not possible without a confession. Unless the other person confesses his act, you can’t really forgive. When they don’t believe they made a mistake or when they don’t care about what or how you feel, in such circumstances, I’m sorry to tell you, it’s not possible to forgive. A confession and an apology from the other person, with a sense of remorse, are absolutely integral for forgiveness. Yes, it is possible to forgive someone a hundred times, if they come and confess and apologize a hundred times, but it’s not possible to forgive them even once if they don’t seek your pardon. This is where I see the root cause of the problem: you want to forgive and not resent the other person, but, you can’t do so because they won’t admit they wronged you.
Monks, these two are fools. Which two? The one who doesn’t see his transgression as a transgression, and the one who doesn’t rightfully pardon another who has confessed his transgression. These two are fools.

Om Namah Shivay

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How to Overcome the Mind

What is the mind? The mind means the many desires that you carry within you. Nature knows very well the number of desires you drag and carry as a burden within you. Nature sees how tightly and feverishly you hold on to your desires, so sometimes it grants those desires and sometimes it does not. But when we remain happy and centered whether our desires get fulfilled or not, then you can say that you have killed or overcome the mind.

Suppose you are going to a cinema theatre to watch a movie and you stand in line to buy the tickets, and you get to know that the theatre is house-full. Do you feel angry or frustrated about it, or do you feel “Oh, it’s alright. Never mind”. and simply move on ahead.

You may also think that since you did not get a ticket for the cinema hall, so you might as well go to a temple for some time ; or sit in a satsang for some time. When you are able to do this (skilfully), then know that you have killed and overcome your mind.

Have this unshakable faith that whatever is the best for you, that alone will happen in life. Nature will only give you that which will uplift you higher in life. Keep this deep faith.

When does this knowledge dawn in you? It happens when you give your 100% effort in whatever you do. If you simply sit idle and think that God will anyway take care of everything, then that will not do.

Usually, you do not think twice when you are about to do something wrong. But when you have to do something good or beneficial, you think “If God wants, then it will happen”. Many people tell me, “Gurudev, only when you wish or call us will we be able to come to the Ashram”.

Why do you need an invitation? Does God ever send you an invitation asking you to come meet Him? When we have to do something good, we leave it to destiny (instead of making an effort to do it). But if you want to fulfil some desire or aspiration of your own, you put in every bit of your strength to achieve that. You put your heart and soul into it. This thought process needs to be reversed.

You should know that whatever situations you are currently undergoing in life is because of your Prarabdha Karma (Karma that bears fruit in the present). And whatever you deserve, you will surely get that in life.

You must think, “What do I have to do in life?” And then you should just go ahead and do that with all sincerity, without thinking about what results you will get out of it. You should not worry about that at all. Just do whatever you have to do. Then a deep sense of contentment

Om Namah Shivay

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How to Attract-2

Narada smiled and said, “O Noble King! Shishupala merged in Krishna because he meditated on Him every moment of his life. Whether you meditate on something out of hatred or love, that is beside the point. Your mind does not distinguish between negative and positive, right and wrong, they are two sides of the same coin, it simply manifests whatever you hold onto. His whole consciousness was directed towards Krishna and that’s the sole reason he merged in Him.”

There is your law of attraction! It is the reason why negative people are able to give you enough examples of their fears actually coming true in their lives. It is why even crooks can be ultra successful. Nobility of intention is not a concept your mind understands. It is the concentration of a thought that matters, the more concentrated a thought, the stronger it is. From the perspective of manifestation, moral purity is not the most important factor, it is the intensity and persistence of the thought. Whatever you focus on resolutely, without any doubts in your mind, it starts to manifest in your life. Of course, your actions aid that manifestation.

Working towards a positive goal you have many doubts. Whereas negative is always there, present in your subconscious. You are not to be blamed though. It is the result of evolution. Our species has worked hard for its survival. It mostly lived in the fear of extinction. The total human population is minuscule compared to animals. Anyway, so the mind tends to cling to the negative, you feel strongly about negative.

Whether love or hate, they are still emotions. It is when you are indifferent, you do not attract — desirable or otherwise. In a deeply profound and revealing quote by Elie Wiesel, a holocaust survivor and a Nobel Peace Laureate, he states:

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. 
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. 
And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference between life and death.    

Whatever you feel strongly about, you will attract. For anything you have an emotion for, you will attract it in your life. You hate something strongly, that is all you will get. You love something strongly, that is all you will notice. If you hate people you do not want in your life, time and again, they are the ones you will encounter at every nook and turn of your life. You have as much chance of attracting something you hate as things you love. With negativity, fear comes uninvited. The strength of a negative thought is doubled by fear. It is tripled by self-doubt, quadrupled by attachment.

And what is the ingredient to double the strength of a positive thought? Faith. For tripling it? Persistence. How to quadruple it? Purity of the intention. Go figure!

Om Namah Shivay

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Are Past Lives Real -2

My own transcendent explorations as a healer and spiritual teacher have shown me again and again the profound relationships and circumstances giving rise to issues, challenges and problems in this life that can be alleviated through past life awareness, forgiveness and understanding. Lives turn around when very old issues are put to rest, and the changes are often dramatic and long lasting.

As well as all this, my belief in past and future lives gives me a great sense of justice and peace. I have an unshakeable belief that those who harm others will experience that same energy frequency of harm themselves in the future, and that the justice of the Divine is incredibly fair. Knowing that, I can let it go, have forgiveness and cultivate compassion for the wrongdoer.

Whatever is going on for us now, perhaps it is either a form of grace from earlier times, or a clearing of some earlier karma. Either way we can meet our destiny with composure, and learn the best ways to manage ourselves through it.

Without a spiritual path, we are lost, depressed, devastated and crushed by the adversities of life. With a spiritual path, we are shown how to deal with the situation so as to create a better future. By learning spiritual tools and practices, we can heal, take a massive problem and reduce it, or we can learn to live with it, growing in happiness, illumination and joy at the same time.

Truly, it is how we meet our obstacles that creates either ugliness, or beauty and greatness within a soul.

I think that the road to enlightenment is long, winding and gets narrower the further we go. Whatever our beliefs, we are all going to the same place eventually. I believe that those who strive to make the world a better place, who are peacemakers even in situations of great challenge and adversity, who are capable of noble actions, humanitarian compassion and personal sacrifice, really do get rewarded down the track.

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Q: How much sadhana is required to convert bad karmas into good karmas? How can I know that the account has been balanced?

Guruji: Unfortunately no one here has done the auditing of these (karmic) accounts. Perhaps Chitragupta (a Hindu god assigned with the task of keeping complete records of actions of human beings on the earth) would be able to tell you this once you leave the planet.

There is a saying in Hindi which means – Forget your deeds once done – whether punya (good deeds) or paap (sinful deeds), just drop them all. What use is it to keep an account of your actions? Just do your duty without worrying about the fruits of your action.

Om Namah Shivay

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Are Past Lives Real -1

People say to me: “If we have past lives, why can we not remember them?” The answer has many levels but here are two factors for contemplation.

The first factor has to do with the nature of our memory. We cannot remember everything. Most people do not remember much about their first year or two of life. If you are anything like me, we forget lots of things that only happened yesterday! There is a part of the brain that selectively sorts and chooses what stimuli goes into our conscious memory banks and what is filed as an unconscious record. So, memory is not really an ideal mechanism for knowing the answers to these questions. The fact that we cannot remember past lives does not mean that they did not occur.

The second factor has to do with the fact that each body, and each personality that is created (our Egoic being) is unique for each and every incarnation. The soul holds the master records of who, what, when and where we have been previously, but if we don’t know how to access our souls then how do we find this information?

Clues can be obtained from our natural tendencies, interests, likes and dislikes. Some people have irrational fears of drowning, or falling or being killed, even though no event even remotely like that has occurred in this life. However perhaps they have drowned, fallen or been attacked in other lives and the memory was so traumatic that it lodged as a ‘blob’ of energy that was so strong we can sense it still even though we are in another incarnation.

Have you ever had an instant liking, or instant animosity with a person? I think this is soul recognition from other lives, when we have either loved or been betrayed by this soul and we know it deep down inside of ourselves.

Some people have incredible talents that they seem to be born with. How could this be, if their soul had not become accomplished to a high degree in this before? Here I am thinking about child protégés like Mozart.

Jesus says in the scriptures that if we live by the sword we will die by the sword. Clearly not everyone who lives by the sword dies by the sword in the same incarnation, so was Jesus wrong, or was he referring to the balancing of all these factors over the many lives of the soul? He also says that John the Baptist was Elijah, and so it would seem that the great Jewish mystical Avatar, Lord Jesus, gave some teachings on this subject, which have not been carried down through the lineage of Greek and Roman influenced Christian theology. More people in the world believe in re-incarnation than do not, and in Eastern countries as well as in Western Kabalistic and alchemy mystical teachings, this belief is normal.

Om Namah Shivay

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12 Little Known Laws Of Karma That Will Change Your Life-2

6.THE LAW OF CONNECTION

– Even if something we do seems inconsequential, it is very important that it gets done as everything in the Universe is connected.

– Each step leads to the next step, and so forth and so on.

– Someone must do the initial work to get a job done.

– Neither the first step nor the last are of greater significance,

– As they were both needed to accomplish the task.

– Past-Present-Future they are all connected…

7. THE LAW OF FOCUS

– You can not think of two things at the same time.

– When our focus is on Spiritual Values, it is impossible for us to have lower thoughts such as greed or anger.

8. THE LAW OF GIVING AND HOSPITALITY

– If you believe something to be true, then sometime in your life you will be called upon to demonstrate that particular truth.

– Here is where we put what we CLAIM that we have learned, into actual.

9. PRACTICE. THE LAW OF HERE AND NOW

– Looking backward to examine what was, prevents us from being totally in the HERE AND NOW.

– Old thoughts, old patterns of behaviour, old dreams…

– Prevent us from having new ones.

10. THE LAW OF CHANGE

– History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.

11. THE LAW OF PATIENCE AND REWARD

– All Rewards require initial toil.

– Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil.

– True joy follows doing what we’re suppose to be doing, and waiting for the reward to come in on its own time.

12. THE LAW OF SIGNIFICANCE AND INSPIRATION

– You get back from something whatever YOU have put into it.

– The true value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it.

– Every personal contribution is also a contribution to the Whole.

– Lack lustre contributions have no impact on the Whole, nor do they work to diminish it.

– Loving contributions bring life to, and inspire, the Whole.

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Satsang means two things:

1. Intellectual discussion, which is a left brain activity

2. Singing, which is a right brain activity.

Both are necessary.

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Q: Why did the same soul have to get enlightened again and again? First as Krishna and then as Buddha?

Guruji: Whenever anyone goes through enlightenment they see it as a part of Vishnu. That is why it is called leela – play of spirit. Even Ram had to go through a lot.

Om Namah Shivay

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