Let your children commit mistakes

“Only one thing you can do, and that is share your own life. Tell them that you have been conditioned by your parents, that you have lived within certain limits, according to certain ideals, and because of these limits and ideals you have missed life completely, and you don’t want to destroy your children’s life. You want them to be totally free – free of you, because to them you represent the whole past.”

But I’m a parent, I love my children, how can I let go of them?

“It needs guts and it needs immense love in a father, in a mother, to tell the children, ‘You need to be free of us. Don’t obey us – depend on your own intelligence. Even if you go astray it is far better than to remain a slave and always remain right. It is better to commit mistakes on your own and learn from them, rather than follow somebody else and not commit mistakes. But then you are never going to learn anything except following – and that is poison, pure poison.

‘It is very easy if you love. Don’t ask “how,” because ‘how’ means you are asking for a method, a methodology, a technique – and love is not a technique.’

“Love your children, enjoy their freedom. Let them commit mistakes, help them to see where they have committed a mistake. Tell them, ‘To commit mistakes is not wrong – commit as many mistakes as possible, because that is the way you will be learning more. But don’t commit the same mistake again and again, because that makes you stupid.’”

“What I am saying is in creating children who have freedom, who have heard ‘yes’ and have rarely heard ‘no,’ the authoritarian society will disappear. We will have a more human society.

“So it is not only a question of the children. Those children are going to become tomorrow’s society: the child is the father of man.”

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Leave a little room for imperfections. Imperfections exist at three levels; physical, mental and emotional, i.e., body, thought and emotions. If you don’t accept the imperfections on the physical level, you become more and more imperfect on the mental and emotional level.

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If you have digested the knowledge of ‘who you are and what this universe is all about’, then it is impossible to not be a loving person.

Om Namah Shivay

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Adding Value to Education-2

Education reform should include innovative strategies that empower teachers to improve student outcomes and nurture their growth. Today, media, Internet, movies and video games bombard children with information. This information overload affects the brain’s capacity to digest and analyze data, and often results in health problems like Attention Deficiency Disorder. Creative methods of teaching can help combat these issues and help children build healthy personalities. In addition to intellectually stimulating children, education systems must also include physical activities such as sports as well as ancient techniques such as meditation, yoga and pranayama as part of a child’s learning process that will teach them how to manage their emotions. True education means more than pursuit of a certain course of study. It means a preparation for achieving life skills to attain not only one’s dreams but also build a safe and strong community. When a child grows up with a sense of belonging towards everybody, he or she is ready to engage with the communities in a meaningful way. And by the time young graduates pass out of college, they learn well how to embrace their duties towards themselves, the nation and the world.

It is time that we came together to identify ways and means of restoring the respect, honour and dignity that education has had historically. The need of the day is a broad-minded education accompanied by a warm and caring heart. The function of education is to teach one to think critically – where intelligence comes with character. It is of no use if one acquires good education and then begins to look down upon others – or just engage in building wealth for oneself. A well-educated person is one who is friendly and compassionate, and is capable of selfless action. A complete education is one which empowers an individual to play the role of a global citizen in making the local community stronger and the world a safer and happier place to live.

Om Namah Shivay

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Adding Value to Education-1

Only a human values oriented approach in education can impart true intelligence. Today, every parent envisions that their child grow up to be a well educated and happy human being with good values. However, education often fails to fulfill its true goal – happiness.

A child’s smile, joy and friendliness are unmatched. However, observe the face of the same child by the time he or she passes out of school and university – does the child still retain that joy, that innocence that beauty endowed as an infant?

Is there a way to retain the innocence of children once they grow older? If we can, then we would have attained something really marvelous, because innocence is beautiful.

How can we introduce and sustain the human values of compassion, caring and sharing into our education system? How can we ensure that education will nourish inbuilt virtues of a child and that every child will learn to be friendly and giving even in a competitive environment? Is education only about getting good grades so that one can secure a good job later — or is it about laying the foundation for long-term prosperity of the society as a whole?

The basic human tendency to “give” is lost somewhere in the pursuit of an education that has a narrow vision and promotes selfishness and greed. Old and outdated methods of teaching warrant reform. Education must not only instill in students an appreciation for the sciences but also reflect today’s diverse cultural influences. A good system of education must instill self-esteem and creativity in children. It must help nurture a free, un-obsessed, anger-free and relaxed mind. Such a well-rounded education system can also prevent fanaticism in young minds. Education’s stakeholders must ponder on an education system that will retain human values and address the various aspects of life. Teachers are the single most important resource to a child’s learning. Teachers and local authorities must join hands to create a class room system wherein a child learns to increase awareness and not just assimilate information.

Om Namah Shivay

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Scream It Out

We live in a perplexing world, often glamorized and overrated as being ideal and happy. But reality is different. Teenagers do not know whom to turn to in difficult situations. They are conditioned to behave appropriately, not share ‘wrong’ issues, and adhere to stereotypes of behaving like a good son or daughter. Where do they express their bottled-up emotions? Does one gulp down tablets or quaff drinks to drown sorrows? Teens have to battle out many factors that increase their struggle to reconcile the two worlds:

l Coping with peer pressure
l Bullying by their seniors
l Academic pressure by teachers and parents and their great expectations
l Puberty, pimples and making Peace with their changing body
l Mental and emotional problems that they do not comprehend
l Hormonal changes
l Attraction of the opposite sex, boyfriend-girlfriend issues
l Rebellion

Without proper outlet, the high teenage energy remains in a state of flux and turns into negative emotions. Teens resort to gadgets and high-adrenaline games, which may allow them to vent, but also make them reclusive and closed. And the lack of playgrounds and free play adds to a dry, structured world. As these negative energies stay bottled up, the teen shows signs of aggression, reclusion and even depression.

Teenage years are difficult for parents as well. With the advent of technology and increase in exposure avenues, children tend to mature faster.

Parents have to keep up with this pace of growth and needs. And sometimes struggle juggling the roles of parent and friend. If they approach children as parents, they are often blocked out by teens who don’t understand their own selves. Approaching children as friends often finds them being taken for granted. They find it increasingly difficult to reach out and more often than not do not know what to say. Parents try their best but fail to find a common ground to communicate with their moody children — sometimes with fatal consequences.

The need of the hour is to understand the importance of channelising and directing energies of children towards more productive and positive influences. If not harnessed, these energies can lead to destructive and negative behaviour and habits. What they need is an outlet.

Do It Loudly

Whether it is pent-up feelings or excess energy, a great way to release heaviness, negativity and anger for teenagers is to ‘Scream it out’! Screaming has been known to have a cathartic effect. A loud, shrill, intense scream gives a sense of release and leaves one feeling at peace.

Teens open their mouths wide and pierce the air with the sound of screams. They forget troubles and focus energy into releasing long, loud screams. What’s more, there is music and play, movement and freedom, as teens move out of their stiff body conditioning and experience being a free spirit in its true sense. They scream in turns, in unison and sometimes in competition till the whole exercise becomes a celebration of freedom.

Whatever the case, it leaves each one with a feeling of exhilaration and lightness. Other benefits include:

l Peace and harmony of mind and body
l More harmony with each other
l Emotional and mental detox and entrance of fresh energies
l More concentration on academics and better all-round performance
l Care and nurturing towards oneself
l Relaxation and good health in general

Emptied, these teens make way for fresh energies to enter their system, and a lighter approach to everything, transforming them into happier citizens of tomorrow.

Om Namah Shivay

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Father And Daughter

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.” He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty.

He yelled at her, “Don’t you know that when you give someone a present, there’s supposed to be something inside it?”

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said,”Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy.”

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

 

Om Namah Shivay

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The Real Glory

It is often believed that glory and dispassion are contradictory and cannot co-exist. Glory and luxury without dispassion is a nauseating pomp and show. Such glory does not bring fulfillment for anyone, it is shallow. Alternately, the dispassion that is afraid of glory is weak. True dispassion is oblivious to glory.

The glory that comes with dispassion is something that is true, that is permanent and authentic. When someone runs after glory they are shallow. Like movie stars, politicians and religious leaders who try to hold on to their status, to their glory, they are certain to lose. If you run after glory all you get is misery. When you are dispassionate, glory comes to you.

If you are afraid of glory, that means you are not well-founded in dispassion. In India, the Sadhus run away from glory. They think they will lose their dispassion and get trapped in the web of the world, the circus. The dispassion is so blissful, they get attached to the dispassion.

They are afraid of losing the dispassion, the centeredness and bliss that comes along with it. This is weak dispassion. Dispassion is a state of being and glory is the happening around it. True dispassion can never be lost or overshadowed by glory. True dispassion is glorious! Real glory is true dispassion!

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A plant has to be watered but when it grows into a tree, it is no longer necessary. Similarly, if the inner consciousness becomes stronger, all these vikaar (distortions) get erased. Vishranti vikar mita (Deep rest removes negativity). There is no rest deeper than meditation.

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Q: Why is Radha important for Krishna?

Guruji : Radha is Krishna’s energy. Both are one.

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Every moment, realize that there is a new person in you. Don’t think of the past

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Q: My mother and father don’t have peace. How can I help them be friendly.

Guruji : This is a very big task my dear.

Sometimes they are happy fighting. If there is nothing then they will feel very empty. So never mind if they fight now and then. You know, many kids are already keeping their parents together. It is because of the kids that the parents are staying together. It is happening more and more. So just your presence and your being there is putting them in their places. Don’t worry.

Om Namah Shivay

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God as a Child

Can you see God as a child? You have always thought of God as a father, up in the heavens somewhere. Can you see God as a child?

God is the very core of your existence. You are pregnant with God. You have to take care of your pregnancy and deliver the child into the world. Most people do not even deliver. One who delivers can also grant wishes.

God is your child. He/She clings onto to you like a baby till you grow old and die. God keeps crying for nourishment. God clings onto the devotee. He/She needs you to nourish Him/Her in the world. Sadhana, Satsang and Seva are the nourishment.

You always think of God as a father. Then you want to demand and take from God. But when you see God as a child, you have no demands.

Student says: You cannot pray to a child; you can only pray to your father.

Guruji : Why do you want to pray? Why do you want to ask? A good father knows what to give.

Student : What about surrender?

Guruji : Your surrender to a child is more authentic as it has no demand.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR GOD! Atheists are around the corner! Doubts, disbelief and ignorance are atheists in your mind, so better take care of your God!

Om Namah Shivay

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