Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One-2

Acceptance is the key. I am not talking about accepting their death, I am referring to accepting the fact that it is painful for you, that it is hurting you, and that everything else is simply a theory. Allow natural healing to take place, allow your emotions to outpour, give yourself an outlet. You can’t afford to have them bottled up, that will make you angry and eternally sad. If you allow Nature to help you absorb and accept the loss, you will find it easier to live without their physical presence. Just like happiness, like laughter and joy, sadness and sorrow are basic human emotions. These make us who we are. Do not curb them, be natural, be yourself.

What do you do when you are happy? You laugh. Is it not perfectly normal then to cry when you are sad, when you are missing their presence?

A realized Zen master was seen crying at the funeral of a man. Most were somewhat surprised, they thought the master had risen above the human emotions. It was an unusual sight to see a monk cry. A child went up to him, tugged at his robe and said, “Why are you crying?”

“He was my friend,” the master said. “I’m crying because I’m sad.”

If their thought makes you cry, just cry, let it out. Don’t hold it back. Some may advise you to focus your attention elsewhere, to go out, to forget and move on etc. You can adopt any method, any philosophy, any theory that makes you feel stronger and better but the truth is, you can’t fake your emotions, you can’t lie to yourself. The greater the number of memories you have with the one you lost, the harder it is to forget them. No matter how intense the heat, puddles dry up quicker than ponds whereas oceans never. How long it will take you to move on depends on whether your store of memories is a small puddle or a gigantic ocean. You are going to miss them on their birthday, their death anniversary, on your own birthday, on other important events, on small incidents. This is natural. Let it be. You may as well make them and their memories a part of your life. After all, death is the other side of the life. You are standing at one end of the river and they on the other, you are on this side of the horizon, and they on the other. Horizons don’t disappear nor the river of time ceases to flow.

Our emotions make us human, positively directed, they make us divine, misdirected, and they bring out the devil. Self-realization does not mean you lose all human emotions. To the contrary, you become so compassionate that you could cry at the slightest pain of others.

“O Ananda!” said Buddha, “parting from the loved ones is inevitable.”

Om Namah Shivay

***Write ” Om Namah Shivay ” if you ask for God’s blessing on your life today. Please Like, Tag and Share to bless others!


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