When Care Destroys Love-3

Detachment is an acknowledgement of the fact that the people you love are responsible for their feelings. By letting them take control of their (and not your) life, you actually help them. It may hurt initially but eventually it infuses a new vitality in your relationship. It is developing a sort of neutrality so you don’t start worrying about little things and feel the urge to fix everything right away. You can’t fix what you didn’t create. Not all the time anyway.

Detachment is the realization that most troubled partners don’t act badly as a matter of choice. Their coping mechanisms propel them to behave a certain way. But your sense of detachment will give you the peace to handle everything far more effectively (without going crazy). Detachment is taking it easy (not for granted) in the face of friction and conflict. It is to examine your reaction rather than acting on the first thought or the first feeling you experience when things go haywire. It helps you to keep your sanity until your partner understands that neither of you can always be on your toes.

That said, detachment is only one part of the solution. There’s more.  Compulsive care doesn’t help anyone. If you wish to have a healthy relationship, then sooner or later you have to stand up for yourself. True love naturally has a degree of detachment otherwise it becomes too clingy and uncomfortable. Unhealthy relationships are prisoners of obsession and attachment. Healthy relationships on the other hand are fueled by friendship and freedom. Obsessive care undermines love.

Learn to speak up for yourself. Don’t be scared. Breathe. Detach. Make no attempt to fix everything this instant. No one is going to die if you start caring about yourself. On the contrary, your life and others’ too will only become more beautiful as you stand your ground and find your feet because, ultimately, this new-found strength will make you even more loving, caring, confident and happy.

Om Namah Shivay

***Write ” Om Namah Shivay ” if you ask for God’s blessing on your life today. Please Like, Tag and Share to bless others!



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