How to Make Someone Happy-1

Making someone happy is like lighting a candle. You don’t lose a thing and the light increases.

When we make someone happy, the same part in our brain is activated as it does when we do something for our own happiness. This is not philosophy but neuroscience. I’m not surprised though; the joy of giving far exceeds any other I’ve ever known. Charity begins at home, they say. A happy environment at home is comparable to heaven on earth. In my occupation, I get to meet many people from all walks of life. Often though I have observed a rather strange behavior among many couples. They rejoice in the company of people outside the four walls but are irritated with the ones at home. I have seen a tenuous frown appear even at the mention of their partner. They tell me they are tired of trying to please the other person and that they couldn’t be bothered anymore. This feeling — I couldn’t be bothered — is a definitive sign of downfall in most relationships. Earlier, if they made any attempt in bringing joy to the other person, now, they have thrown the baby out with the bathwater (after drinking most of it).

I admit it can be quite difficult to make certain people happy. There too, I have an observation: when you just can’t make the other person happy no matter what you do or how hard you try, chances are you are no longer on their play-field. Mentally, they may have given you the red card. They have decided not to source their happiness from you. If you speak to them asking what do they really expect from you and they are not being reasonable, you will never be able to make them happy, not for long anyway. In that case, if you have a choice, move on. And if you don’t have a choice — seek a peaceful refuge within.

Once, a woman, a master cook, was asked that her husband must love her food and what did he usually say when he savored the delicacies she cooked on a daily basis?

“He only speaks about food when something’s amiss or if he doesn’t like it,” she said. “So, when he’s quiet, I know he’s enjoying it.”

“Initially, I would ask him if he liked my cooking but it irked him so I stopped asking,” she added.

Sadly, this is not a joke. I’ve quoted a real incident. To the waiter we don’t know, we say smilingly how delicious the food is, we tip, we appreciate, but to the one who’s closer to you, every courtesy is withdrawn. See the disparity?

When you make it a point to appreciate, the newness never fades away. And when something remains new, you never get bored of it. And when you don’t get bored, you never take it for granted. And when you don’t take the other person for granted, your relationship can never wither away. Yes, never. It’ll continue to blossom and spread fragrance. Appreciation is gratitude in action.

Be grateful.

Om Namah Shivay

***Write ” Om Namah Shivay ” if you ask for God’s blessing on your life today. Please Like, Tag and Share to bless others!


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