Relationships

Relationships can either take the form of strength or weakness depending on the mind. If the mind is strong then relationships can be like a gift to us, but if the mind is weak and not in control, then relationships can feel like bondage.

How would you like to see yourself – happy and bubbling with enthusiasm or dull and difficult to please?

Often you like to be pleased, appeased and cajoled. So you put up a tough, upset face and act difficult to please. If a person has to appease and please ten people all the time, it will be so tiring. People who keep a long face and expect others to cajole and appease them make others run away.

Lovers often do this. They expend a lot of energy in cajoling and this brings down the joy and celebration of the moment. It is okay for you to show your upset mood or tendency once in a while, but doing it over and over again is taxing for you and the people you love.

If you feel low, appease and please yourself. Your need to be appeased by someone else is the sign of grossness. This is the root of ignorance. If you want attention, all you get is tension.

There is a secret about relationships. Women should never make their husband feel small.

If you tell your husband, ‘You are like a vegetable, good for nothing. You are a lazy goose!’ his self esteem goes down and he really becomes good for nothing. However, hopeless or weak he is, you should always tell him that he is the best. You should pump his ego.

The whole world may say that he has no brains, but you should not say that. As a spouse you should say, ‘You have the best brains in the world.

Just because you don’t use it, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have any.’ In the same way, men should never pour cold water on women’s emotions. For women, emotional bonding is very important.

You should never complain about her parents, her father or her mother or sisters or brothers. If she herself complains, you keep quiet, don’t say anything.

If you oppose her parents, you will be in trouble and if you side with them, she will feel left out. Either way you are in trouble, so keep quiet. Simply move away from there or change the topic.

If in the relationship, both come from a sense of giving then there will be no problem. But if both want to take, there will be fights for sure. ‘I am here to contribute, what I can do for you?’ – your relationship will last longer with this attitude.

Similarly, don’t be feverish about a relationship, just relax and you will find your relationship with people will improve and become better. If you are like a leech, clinging on to somebody and bugging them, even though you say all nice words, that person will run away from you because they can’t handle it. One aspect is to give love, and another is to know how to handle love, receive love as well.

It needs only a centered, enlightened person. You have to be very much at ease with yourself. If you are at ease with yourself, everyone will be at ease with you.

Just be yourself. Be natural and simple. Relationships develop naturally. If you try to build a relationship that is when you become a little artificial and unnatural.

You like someone to be very honest, open, natural, unassuming with you. That is exactly what others also want from you. If you are a boss, what type of assistants or subordinates would you like? Someone who is open. And that is also what your boss wants. Don’t try hard to impress your boss, or impress your girlfriend or boyfriend. That is when everything goes wrong.

The best is to be yourself, natural, to be forgiving and to be in the present moment. It makes a big difference.

Om Namah Shivay

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Worship of the Form and the Formless

You have to go from the form to the formless. If you jump only to the formless, that path is full of misery.

Lord Krishna said in the Gita, that there are people who worship the formless, but that path is full of pain and sorrow. You can see this yourself. Take Moses for example, his path has been very miserable and sad. Jesus – his life was so sad. Take the example of Mohammad Paigambar, he had to undergo so much pain and struggle, and the bloodiest part of history is his. It continued after him too, all his family members had a very painful and sorrowful state.

This is the reason why Buddha said, “Buddham sharanam gachhami”, i.e., I go to Buddha for refuge. Buddha is the formless in the form. Then he said, “Sangam sharanam gachhami”, i.e., I surrender myself to the society and take refuge in the service of society. And then he said, “Dhammam sharanam gachhami”, i.e., I take refuge in the ultimate truth.

To get away from misery, Buddha said four things; recognise there is misery. There is a reason for the misery. It is possible to get out of misery. To get out of misery, take refuge in the enlightened or Buddha. Again, Buddha is the formless in the form.

Lord Krishna said the same thing, “Aham tvam sarvapapebhyo, mokshapapebhyo mokshayishyami ma sucah”. Lord Krishna very clearly said that those who worship the formless, their path is very tedious and full of misery. That is true.

Any worship is only for the formless, but the path through the form makes it joyful, easier and more perceivable for people. You may choose a path with rubble and a lot of potholes, or you may choose a nice road, a highway. This choice makes a difference.
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How to Handle Mistakes

Never mind all the mistakes you did in the past. Whatever mistakes you have done, you have learnt some lessons from them. There is no point in regretting this moment for the last moment which is already gone. Resolve right now, ‘This moment I am innocent, I am pure, I am part of the light, I am love’, and think what you can do in the next moment.

So, you have to pull yourself up again and again, to see (keep your attention on) the future. Depression is always thinking about the past and then fearing the future.

Spiritual knowledge is that which gives you the strength for the future, ‘Nothing to worry, only the best can happen to me because my heart is clean, and my mind is clear’.

Om Namah Shivay

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Life is wonderful if you know how to live

A rare conversation between Ramkrishna Paramahansa Swami Vivekanand

Swami Vivekanand:- I can’t find free time. Life has become hectic.

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you free.

Swami Vivekanand:- Why has life become complicated now?

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Stop analyzing life.. It makes it complicated. Just live it.

Swami Vivekanand:- Why are we then constantly unhappy?

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Worrying has become your habit. That’s why you are not happy.

Swami Vivekanand:- Why do good people always suffer?

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don’t suffer. With that experience their life becomes better, not bitter.

Swami Vivekanand:- You mean to say such experience is useful?

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Swami Vivekanand:- Because of so many problems, we don’t know where we are heading…

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides the way.

Swami Vivekanand:- Does failure hurt more than moving in the right direction?

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you.

Swami Vivekanand:- In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Swami Vivekanand:- What surprises you about people?

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- When they suffer they ask, “why me?” When they prosper, they never ask “Why me?”

Swami Vivekanand:- How can I get the best out of life?

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Swami Vivekanand:- One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- There are no unanswered prayers. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

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If you think positively
Sound becomes music
Movement becomes dance
Smile becomes laughter
Mind becomes meditation and
Life becomes a celebration…

Om Namah Shivay

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झाड़ू रखने के नियम

झाड़ू के महत्व को देखते हुए वास्तु शास्त्र द्वारा कई नियम बताए गए हैं।

– जब घर में झाड़ू का इस्तेमाल न हो, तब उसे नजरों के सामने से हटाकर रखना चाहिए।

– झाड़ू को कभी भी खड़ा नहीं रखना चाहिए।

– ध्यान रहे झाड़ू पर जाने-अनजाने पैर नहीं लगने चाहिए, इससे महालक्ष्मी का अपमान होता है।

– झाड़ू हमेशा साफ रखें।

– ज्यादा पुरानी झाड़ू को घर में न रखें।

– झाड़ू को कभी जलाना नहीं चाहिए।

– शनिवार को पुरानी झाड़ू बदल देना चाहिए।

– शनिवार के दिन घर में विशेष साफ-सफाई करनी चाहिए।

– घर के मुख्य दरवाजा के पीछे एक छोटी झाड़ू टांगकर रखना चाहिए। इससे घर में लक्ष्मी की कृपा बनी रहती है।

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१. यदि सभा में साबर मन्त्र बोल दिए जाये तो साबर मन्त्र अपना प्रभाव छोड़ देते है !
२.यदि किसी किताब से उठाकर मन्त्र जपना शुरू कर दे तो भी साबर मन्त्र अपना पूर्ण प्रभाव नहीं देते !
३.साबर मन्त्र अशुद्ध होते है इनके शब्दों का कोई अर्थ नहीं होता क्योंकि यह ग्रामीण भाषा में होते है यदि इन्हें शुद्ध कर दिया जाये तो यह अपना प्रभाव छोड़ देते है !
४.प्रदर्शन के लिए यदि इनका प्रयोग किया जाये तो यह अपना प्रभाव छोड़ देते है !
५.यदि केवल आजमाइश के लिए इन मंत्रो का जप किया जाये तो यह मन्त्र अपना पूर्ण प्रभाव नहीं देते !

ऐसे और भी अनेक कारण है ! उचित यही रहता है कि साबर मंत्रो को गुरुमुख से प्राप्त करे क्योंकि गुरु साक्षात शिव होते है और साबर मंत्रो के जन्मदाता स्वयं शिव है ! शिव के मुख से निकले मन्त्र असफल हो ही नहीं सकते !

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आप भले ही इसे अंधविश्वास कहो या फिर टोटका मगर यह सच है कि बुरी नजर से बचने के लिए हमेशा से ही नजरबट्टू की शरण ली जा रही है। अधिकांश दुकानों के बाहर इसे टंगा देखा जा सकता है। और वह है – नींबू व हरी मिर्च से बना नजरबट्टू।

नजरबट्‍टू बनाने के लिए एक धागे में एक नींबू व उसके साथ पांच या सात हरी मिर्च पिरो दी जाती है फिर इसे दुकानों के बाहर टांग दिया जाता है। ऐसा माना जाता है कि नींबू व हरी मिर्च को दुकान के बाहर टांग देने से किसी की बुरी नजर नहीं लगेगी और दुकानदारी पर कोई असर नहीं पड़ेगा।

मॉडर्न व पढ़े-लिखे लोग तक इस बात को मानते हैं कि बुरी नजर से बचने के लिए तो नजरबट्टू सबसे अच्छा तरीका है। इसलिए बाजार हो या महंगे शॉपिंग मॉल्स अधिकांश दुकानों के आगे नींबू व हरी मिर्च लटकते हुए मिल जाएंगे। ऐसा माना जाता है कि हरी मिर्च व नींबू लटकाने से कारोबार को बुरी नजर नहीं लगती है।

Om Namah Shivay

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Are you and me the same?

Q: Are you and me the same? Please explain!

Guruji: The subtler one goes, one finds the unity. But in the gross, this body is different and that body is different; this body’s needs are different and that body’s needs are different.

On the physical level if you see, we are not same at all. You have long hair and I have a little less hair. You have different tendencies and I have different tendencies. In this way, on the physical level, we are all unique. We are not at all the same. If we were the same, both our thumb prints would work on an iPhone, but that does not happen. On my iPhone, only my thumb print will work, nobody else’s thumb will work.

So, on the physical level, each one of us is different, and we cannot be the same. It is impossible to be the same. But when you go deeper and deeper (subtler and subtler), to the level of the Self, we are all the same because there is only one big life force that is there in the Universe.

The whole Universe is one organism. Just think about it: your body has millions of cells, and they all have their life cycle. Everyday there are dead cells coming out of your body and new cells are being born, but still you are one person, isn’t it? In the same way, the whole Universe is one organism (body) and each one of us is like a cell; everyday many are being born and many are dying. So the whole Universe is one organism, and that one organism is called Brahman.

Brahman is the whole Universe as a living entity. It is not a she or a he, or it could be both. Just like life force, is it a he or a she? Is electricity a he or a she? It is both and neither.

An embryo, is it a he or a she before it manifests? It is just an embryo. Like that the whole Universe is one life force, and in that sense, we are all the same.

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Raksha Bandhan

This full moon is dedicated to the seers – the Rishis. It is also called the Raksha Bandhan. Bandhan means bondage, Raksha means protection. A bondage that protects you. Your bondage to the knowledge, to the master, to the truth, to the self, all save you. A rope can be tied to either protect or strangle you. The small mind and mundane things can strangle you. The big mind or knowledge saves you. Raksha Bandhan is that bondage that saves you.

You are bound by your bondage to the Satsang. Your bondage to the master, to the truth, to the ancient knowledge of the rishis, and that is your saviour.

Bandhan is bonding and bonding is essential in life. Let the bonding be divine in a life free from bondage.

Om Namah Shivay

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Eternalizing Problems

Whenever a problem comes in front of us, we eternalize and generalize it. We should stop this. If there is a problem and you say, I want you to say, ‘Oh, I will face this problem!’

Instead what is it that you do? When there is a problem you eternalize it, you say, ‘Oh, everybody is foolish, everybody is bad. Nobody likes me’. This is generalizing. How can this be possible?

In our mind we blow it up, generalize and eternalize the problem. When you sow such seeds (in the consciousness), such things will occur more and more.

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Enlightenment is returning back to simplicity, honesty, love and faith that truth will triumph or succeed.

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Q: How can I trust men?

Guruji: Actually, you don’t trust yourself. If you trust yourself, you can trust anybody. I am not asking you to be naive; be intelligent, be sharp, be alert, and understand people from a bigger perspective.

When you’re too emotional, you fail to see things as they are. Why do you have this issue of trust? It is because you get into an imbalanced emotional outburst or outrage. You don’t see things as they are.

There is a fine balance between enriched emotion and a sharp intellect, and that is what yoga is all about. When it comes to perception, you have to have that gentle enriched emotion, a sharp intellect, and on top of this, allow your intuition to work.

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Arrogance – A Demonic Quality

There are some people, no matter what you tell them, they will say, ‘Yes, I already know, no need to tell me.’ They will never confess to not knowing something. They will act like they know everything.

Such a false sense of pride, such arrogance that is dismissive of everything that comes before it is a demonic quality.

Humility, simplicity and naturalness, all these qualities get concealed when there is arrogance.

Om Namah Shivay

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Role of surrender

Q: What is the role of surrender in fulfillment of desires? And what is the difference between desires and intentions? Which is more important – putting effort or relying on the God?

Guruji: There are two schools of thought. One is you visualize dream and work for it. Other school of thought says surrender everything to God, whatever God gives you is the best, and God will take care of everything for you. Where is the compatibility? They appear to be completely opposite. One is your own visualization, your own dream and your perseverance, and another is having trust in God and leaving everything on God. They appear to be incompatible but I would say they are very much compatible. It is good to have an intention or a goal. You don’t need to keep on visualizing your goal 24*7. But continuing to work for that, you leave it to the Divine. Only the combination of two will work.

It is beautifully described in scriptures: You take a vision or goal and then you offer it to the Divine while working for that – “This is what I want and you know what is best for me. If this or anything better, I am ready to accept.” Sometimes you don’t know what you want. If you know what you want, it is not difficult to get it. Half the time we are unsure of what we want. Often you find if you are persistent to get something, you don’t want the same thing the next week, the next month or the next year. So, before you take an intention, you expand your awareness. So, put an intention in the universe – I want this or anything better.

Now, what is the difference between a desire and an intention? Suppose you want to go to Mumbai from Bangalore. You buy a ticket and travel for around three hours and go there. But you don’t keep chanting in your mind all this time that you want to go to Mumbai and you are going to Mumbai. You may even land up in a mental Hospital thinking like this! Desire is the feverishness that clogs on to an intention. An intention is a desire free from feverishness. And then working towards your intention, this faith is to be there that whatever nature brings back is for my growth.

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Q: He (your father) also says that there were a lot of miracles happening around you when you were a child and he attributes it to you.

Guruji: For parents, children are very dear! Miracles happen in everyone’s life. Every moment is a miracle – the birds chirping, the flowers blossoming.

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When you’re living on this planet, bring a little happiness to everyone around you and you be happy. Be a little angel in the world.

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People who complain don’t do any work, and people who work hard, they have nothing to complain about because they are busy working.

Om Namah Shivay

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